The events took place on an uncharted planet called Palmas in the Uncharted Space 12 sector. It is a planet with a separated Human community of Scientologists. According to the community’s lore they were forced to abandon Earth nearly a hundred years ago and after a long trek they formed a new prospering community on Palmas. Unfortunately, they were followed by body thetans and half of the people who arrived to Palmas betrayed the faithul ones and formed a rivalling nation on the planet. The nations formed were called Huberonia and Clambake.
The PC’s were high ranking members of the Huberonian nation and faced grave danger as a messenger from space bringed forth a message that the ancient tyrant, Xenu, had escaped from his prison and reigned terror in the galaxy. On top of that the threat of Clambake was becoming more and more severe. Luckily the faithul people of Huberonia had been contacted by a wizard who lived on the north pole of the planet. This wizard had granted the Huberonians with great gifts of science and the leader of Huberonia sent the PC’s to retreave this technology. Mysteriously, the messenger from space warned the Huberonian leader that he should not delve into this technology.
In the end Clambake began its invasion against Huberonia, the PC’s get to the north pole only to find themselves betrayed and captured, and the planet gets bombarded with antimatter bombs from high orbit. Not a single soul survives from the immensive devastation cast down from space. Except the ones on the north pole…
FILE NAME: Fred’s Log
Q-CRYPTING STRING: Lillian’s Little Teddy Bear Likes To Travel Light
It feels so good to win.
I have waited for two months in that God forsaken military ship devicing my scheme. The Commodor is a prune and offers little entertainment. Infact, I think he doesn’t think too fondly of me either. The only person who has provided little entertainment is that goody-two-shoes scribe Bella. But well, to be frank, I think she dislikes me just like that Irish fossil.
But the scheme, let’s get to that! For the past six weeks I have landed several times on the planet Palmas and met with the leaders of the non-religious faction called Clambake. The religious faction, Huberonia, is a country filled with religious zealots who follow this ridiculous religion that has long since disappeared from Earth. I think they call it Scientology and that’s the reason Tia-Bella is here. Anyway, I spent a lot of time convincing the leaders of Clambake to attack Huberonia and gave them numerous tips and even helped them a bit with technological ideas – I think their technology was quite near 20th century Earth. Finally, I managed to convince them to start preparing for a massive surprise attack.
But the beauty of my scheme didn’t end here. Half a year ago, when I was informed of the existence of this planet and the fact that I should have to deal with it, I met this old Lasha pilgrim whom I managed to hire. I sent him (or her, I’m not quite sure?) to travel to Palmas and to slowly begin giving Stellar class technology to the religious faction. For exchange the Lasha just wanted to have four living subjects for himself to experiment – a cruesome reward but what do I care? While on the planet, the Lasha managed to use an old story told by the natives of a wizard living on the north pole of the planet. He set up a base there and began his secret correspondence with the leader of Huberonia, Dale Miscavige.
By the time I arrived here with the battle ship that had been subordinated to me, Huberonia already had their secret program for DDB tech. When it finally became time for Clambake to attack, I landed once more on Palmas, but this time I met the Huberonian leader. Just as I had planned, the cocky dictator couldn’t resist the chance to show of the new technology his scientists were researching. He even arranged a show for me and his most trusted people. During the show I got all the evidence I needed. For humor I also planted a bug on one of their high theologists while he was in the men’s room and threatened the leader of Huberonia that he should not delve into the technology he was showing us. I had also listened closely to Bella’s description of the religion and used it against him to agitate him further: I threatened him with this imaginary despot called Xenu and told him that Xenu had been released from his prison and was steadily conquering the galaxy. From this conversation I gained even more evidence, or at least after a little editing, on the fact that the community was not suitable to join the Galactic community.
Funnily I also followed the events that happened around the theologist I had planted the bug. It turned out that he was one of the four people the Huberonian leader sent to the Lasha. I think I might use that material for evidence too. At least the conversation the Huberonian leader had with the theologist and the other three who were sent to the Lasha.
Anyway, now, as Clambake finally began their siege, I have the evidence to prove that the people on Palmas are warmongering fanatics with Stellar class tech and that they posed a threat for the Galactic community. And that I have taken care of that threat with the antimatter bombardment that just leveled the continent they lived on. It looks so much better on my résumé than checking out a harmless Uncharted Community.
Alright, now I’m back to the battle ship. I think it’s time to go boast with my victory to the Commodor.
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